[Brin]

Hi H,

Only just joined the forum, and not knowing each other, I would be giving advice as a stranger. If inappropriate then please ignore or have this response deleted.

Whichever option you choose will be correct in some respects, but also the wrong one for others. No real happy medium either way. As Hagen mentioned you will have to go with you heart. But the following could be used as indicators:-

How sure are you that you your sister has found the ‘one’ this time? How different does the scenario to the second marriage appear compared to her first marriage? No different or an absolute certainty?

Assuming that you have clearly explained to your sister how difficult it will be financially for you to attend, you could ask her to fund your attendance. Weddings are not normally a cheap event, whereas in comparison, a flight internal to the USA is not that much. If she hesitates or flinches it will tell you something about her commitment regarding your attendance.

These questions are very direct, but with such a tough decision you need to be sure whichever way you decide. As McCoy states; blood is thicker than water.