Just jokes...

[Tom Houlihan]

A recent study found the average Canadian walks about 900 miles a year.


Another study found Canadians drink, on average, 22 gallons of beer a year.


That means, on average, Canadians get about 41 miles to the gallon.
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I'll type this part slowly, in case there are any blondes reading it:

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?????"

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;
Likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named
Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

Does anyone know how many blonde jokes there really are? Just one. The rest are all true stories.
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How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to Build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

[Jim O]

And then there was the blonde who who went to a service station because her car was missing a part. She said it was a "710". No one had ever heard of one but she kept insisting. Finally they took her to another care and she pointed out what she was missing:

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[Aussie Dave]

A picture can sometimes say so much.

Cheers,
Dave

[Jim O]

Now that was a photo op...

[Tom Houlihan]

Thing is, I saw a similar photo of Clinton years before. At least GWB would have seen binos in action at OCS!

[Jim O]

Originally Posted by Tom Houlihan

Thing is, I saw a similar photo of Clinton years before.

It might have been the same photo. Someone with good Photoshop skills could have easily replaced the head from another photo.

[Klaus]

There was one of Bill Clinto. But even back then I wasn't sure what was Photosopped. Bill or the binos. Would it have been GWB (Jr.) from the begining I wouldn't have doubted the authenticity of the picture at all.

[Aussie Dave]

I don't think the picture is a fake.

Outdoor daylight pictures are very hard to fake due to light and shadow.

[Klaus]

Speaking of George (I hope I won't ruin the joke with bad english):

George W. Bush is visiting a primary school to talk about the conflict in the east. After his speech it is time for a Q and A.

"Well, who's got a question for the president?" the teacher asks.
A small boy rasies his hand.
"Yes, what's you name son?"
"Billy, Mr. President"
"So what's your question Billy?"
"Well, actually I've got three questions Mr. President:

#1: Why did we invade the Iraq without the approval of the United Nations?
#2: How come you are President altough Al Gore got more votes?
#3: Where is Osama Bin Laden?

Thats when the school bell rang for a break. But Bush says he will answer the questions after the break.

After the break:
"Where were we? Ah, yeah. Has someone got a question?"
A little boy rasies his hand
"So, what's your name then?"
"Steve, Mr. President"
"Steve it is. What would your question be?"
"Weeelll...actually I got five:

#1: Why did we invade the Iraq without th approval of the United Nations?
#2: How come you are President altough Al Gore got more votes?
#3: Where is Osama Bin Laden?
#4: Why did the bell ring 30 minutes earlier today?
#5: Where is Billy?

[Jim O]

Originally Posted by Aussie Dave

I don't think the picture is a fake.

Outdoor daylight pictures are very hard to fake due to light and shadow.

The binos still might be Photoshopped. Putting the lens caps on would not have been that difficult in skilled hands (with two much time on said hands ).