It's a Girl!

[MAGNA]

Ah, finally found the baby thread. Congratulations. Hope you get some sleep over the next year. I never had any daughters but I'm happy with what I got. Sounds like you are too. Well done mate.!!

[Geek44]

Thanks again guys and Paul, she's a stunner mate. Having had the pleasure of 'meeting' her in the past, it's nice to put a face to the name.
Well, Sally has filled out and her ears have popped into place. She looks (to me) like her Mother's younger sister but our son looks like me and my mother. Flynn is a little 'Aryan' with his blond hair and blue eyes but Sally is dark like her mother's family.
She's a gem too. We're all quite well slept despite having a six day old baby in the house...seems we learned a little from last time. We were laughing today about how uptight we were then. I guess that just comes from recognizing the responsibility and taking it damned seriously...maybe too much so. We also had my terminally ill mother living here at the time so that's something to consider too I suppose.
Anyway...feeding well (spends lots of time 'boob drunk'), sleeping well and young Flynn isn't really put out at all.
As many of you know, I've stayed at home with Flynn while his Mum worked. She's university educated so has greater earning capacity. Just makes sense. When we first found out that Leah was pregnant, I have to admit that I felt bad about it. Not because we didn't want another child or that it wasn't planned...but because I felt sad for my boy. To clarify, I'm an only child myself and it has certain advantages...the best one being lots of parental attention. We were at a barbecue when I confessed this to a female friend of ours who has two kids 14 and 12. She explained to me that when the second child arrives, the relationship between the first baby and the primary carer changes irrevocably. I suffered some grief over this. Probably felt worse about it than I did about the deaths of my parents in '06. I'm anxious to not become less present in my son's life just because I now have two kids.
Thanks for the kind words everybody and special thanks to those who have been parents for way longer than I have who've been willing to share their wisdom.
Peace.

[Jim O]

Originally Posted by Geek44

Thanks again guys and Paul, she's a stunner mate. Having had the pleasure of 'meeting' her in the past, it's nice to put a face to the name.
Well, Sally has filled out and her ears have popped into place. She looks (to me) like her Mother's younger sister but our son looks like me and my mother. Flynn is a little 'Aryan' with his blond hair and blue eyes but Sally is dark like her mother's family.
She's a gem too. We're all quite well slept despite having a six day old baby in the house...seems we learned a little from last time. We were laughing today about how uptight we were then. I guess that just comes from recognizing the responsibility and taking it damned seriously...maybe too much so. We also had my terminally ill mother living here at the time so that's something to consider too I suppose.
Anyway...feeding well (spends lots of time 'boob drunk'), sleeping well and young Flynn isn't really put out at all.
As many of you know, I've stayed at home with Flynn while his Mum worked. She's university educated so has greater earning capacity. Just makes sense. When we first found out that Leah was pregnant, I have to admit that I felt bad about it. Not because we didn't want another child or that it wasn't planned...but because I felt sad for my boy. To clarify, I'm an only child myself and it has certain advantages...the best one being lots of parental attention. We were at a barbecue when I confessed this to a female friend of ours who has two kids 14 and 12. She explained to me that when the second child arrives, the relationship between the first baby and the primary carer changes irrevocably. I suffered some grief over this. Probably felt worse about it than I did about the deaths of my parents in '06. I'm anxious to not become less present in my son's life just because I now have two kids.
Thanks for the kind words everybody and special thanks to those who have been parents for way longer than I have who've been willing to share their wisdom.
Peace.

Nick,

I'm glad she and mum and Flynn and you are all doing well. The second one is much easier because we realize that they don't break if we make a simple mistake! A good friend of mine, sadly now deceased, gave me the following pearl of wisdom when his three were all in their 20's (paraphrased): if you really wanted to do parenting right, have two kids, raise them through the age of 21, throw them away and have two more. Then you can do it right.

The choice of how many children to have is rarely based on how many one can love. If it were then we would all have a dozen or more. Flynn will have a different life with a sister, but not a worse one. I have three children, two with an ex-wife who lives about 600 miles away and one with my wife. My son (soon to be 21) and daughter (18) love their little sister (12) but the two girls have an especially tight bond. That was true when we lived 10 miles apart and they saw each other very frequently, and it is true now. The thing is now that we are so far apart, my youngest has become essentially an only child and really misses her sister (and vice versa). She has verbalized that she wishes that we had had another child so she could have a "full time" sibling.

I am one of two and my parents are also gone (1984 and 1999). I have a small family and my brother (19 months older than I am) is one of the main "anchors" in my life. I can not imagine life without him. Even though we are 400 miles apart we email daily, talk at least twice a week, and are major parts of each others lives.

My point is, don't sweat it too much. Flynn will be fine so long as he knows that his parents love him and care for his needs. Will there be times when he has a soccer game and she has a dance lesson and mum goes to one while dad to the other? I'm sure there will be. Will that make you less of a parent? Heck no!

[Geek44]

Thanks Jim...I appreciate that.
I don't know how much you know about the forum many of us came from. But there's no way I'd even have contemplated posting some of the stuff above over there. I had a PM from somebody today who pointed out that they thought I was opening up more. Thinking about it, I decided he was right. For my part, I braved the other site just so I could catch up with some of the people I knew there...people who despite the distance, are still my mates. My mates (the flesh ones here) and I talk about this stuff as a matter of course and as a way to debrief and vent. Life can be stressful and for a guy like myself, who knows he carries the world on his shoulders a bit, space to express is important.
I'm cool with absolutely everything by now. Integration and sentiment between my kids is excellent...well, Flynn is into the whole thing. Couldn't be happier despite two normal tantrums. I guess my point is, I'm just getting stuff off my chest in a safe and supportive environment.
Thanks for a great site Jim.