Favourite funny quotes from war n' adventure movies.

[gi-rene]

[the Chief Bosun and Werner enter the petty officer's quarters]
Pilgrim: Morning, Lieutenant.
Chief Bosun: So, the petty officers sleep here. Twelve men. When one's on duty, the other sleeps in his stink.
[Pilgrim and Frenssen laugh]
Chief Bosun: Yeah. And here is your bunk. Just for you. Our guest.
Pilgrim: [gives Werner his pouncho] Here you go, Lieutenant.
Frenssen: [throws Werner an oxygen mask] Oh, this is your oxygen mask. Very important.
Pilgrim: Not much good except for calm seas.
Frenssen: It does come in handy when the diesel reeks.
[Chief Bosun and Pilgrim laugh]
Pilgrim: Or when Frenssen farts!

[kentek]

Hotel desk clerk: I thought you were dead.
Jacob 'Big Jake' McCandles: Dead? The next person who says that I'm gonna shoot, so help me.

[gi-rene]

Too many:

Private Foley: Now Sarge, what is the loading and firing procedure for the 75-millimeter cannon?
Sergeant Frank Tree: [delirious] There are five basic components...
Private Foley: This is it, pay attention.
Sergeant Frank Tree: ...to the new General Electric refrigerator: one, the freon compressor, two, the freon tube...

General Joseph W. Stilwell: This isn't the state of California, it's a state of insanity.

Colonel "Madman" Maddox: Identify yourself!
Captain Wild Bill Kelso: Captain Wild Bill Kelso, United States Army Air Corps, where the Hell am I?
Colonel "Madman" Maddox: Barstow, where you coming from?
Captain Wild Bill Kelso: San Francisco, been chasing a J** squadron for a day and a half. I lost 'em somewhere over Fresno.
Telephone Operator: I'm from Moline, Illinois.
Captain Wild Bill Kelso: Tough S***.

[Panzermacher]

Kelso: I was chasing a squadron of J** Zeroes all the way from Pomona..And I shot down a Betty bomber, heh! I blew em into the stone age...and that's when I seen the Sub, the submarine.
Stillwell: You shot down a submarine?
Kelso: No...but I coulda....I had em right in my sights.......Then I caught one in the carborator!

Officer: Hey! What are you guys shooting at!??
Soldier:I dunno! What ever they are shooting at!

Kelso: Alright! Don't anyone ....shoot? Turn this tub around...yer taking me to Tokyo!

[Hagen]

Marine Major Coonan; "How far down does this ship go?"

LtCom. Mike Dahlgren; "Oh, she'll go all the way to the bottom if we don't stop her."


U571